A Timeline of the Modern Bromance (as it Progressed Through Literature and Television)
By Vernon Lickfeld, Staff Writer
On the nights that we decide to go to bed at the same time, my roommate (and Dirt resident political analyst) Jordan Rummel and I conclude the day with an intimate pillow chat about our day apart, the funny moments we shared, and plans we have to spend time together in days to come. On several instances we have contemplated pushing our beds together for optimal video-gaming and cuddling. People who lived in a simpler time, or in simpler circles, or my dad, might get our relationship confused with a homosexual one, but in reality Jordan and I are participants in a type of friendship that has been entering and exiting the zeitgeist for ages: the bromance.
Known in the sociological community as “male homosociality,” the bromance is a relationship between two dudes that transcends sexuality and has its hand on the butt of a purely romantic entanglement without the hassles of things like “marriage licenses” or “whose turn it is to shut the baby up so I can go back to sleep, puh-LEESE.” To the uninitiated, the bromance can seem rather intimidating and a little wrong, but to those people I say that when even the Catholic Church is cool with something, you have no reason to be afraid of it (I will die believing that Jesus Christ and Peter invented the high-five).
Boys become friends when they share crayons without punching each other in the face. They become bros when they simultaneously yell “you have cooties; get away!” at the sickliest girl in preschool. This moment is followed by a toddler eye-lock and a small stellar explosion somewhere in the universe. “Sparks Fly” was written when Taylor Swift got jealous of the way Joe Jonas looked at Nick and wanted to pretend she knew what that felt like.
The word itself came from editor Dave Carnie in the 90’s and 00’s skateboard publication Big Brother Magazine to describe, naturally, an unusually close relationship between guys. Since then, the idea of two men hopelessly in heterosexual love has become increasingly popular. But because I both love and hate in equal parts depictions of teenaged to young adult males in media and actual school work respectively, I’ve decided to give you faithful readers a detailed timeline of the development of the bromance from its inception in Ancient Greece to its most recent incarnation in the freshly cancelled Fox program Ben & Kate. You’re welcome.
Speaking of his pupil Alexander the Great and his bro Hephaestion, ancient philosopher Aristotle perhaps summed up the essence of the bromance better than anyone ever will, saying the two of them were “one soul abiding in two bodies.” Perhaps there was something more between Alex and Hephaestion (Sexmance? Brintercourse? Brosex? Brosex.), but either way, these two legendary bros laid the groundwork for relationships between dudes. They were always chilling out in Alex’s cool palaces that he took from people, getting fed grapes and fist-bumping all day, probably. They grew up side by side, learning math from Aristotle and swordplay from Papa Phillip of Macedonia. Eventually, Hephaestion became Al’s body guard probably so they could sit-com laugh when H got stabbed and said “Told you I’d die for you.” and they’d hug and the series would be over. When Hephaestion DID die, Alexander was naturally an emotional wreck, calling his late bestie “the friend I valued as my own life.” Fuckin, even Hephaestion and Alex’s mom talked about how much they loved the greatest warrior in history: “you know that Alexander means more to us than anything.” That’s love guys. God, that’s so cool.
The next emergence of bromantics was courtesy of one William Shakespeare. He singlehandedly made bromance cool again. Romeo and Mercutio, Antonio and Sebastian, Hamlet and Horatio. Even in She’s The Man there was some bromance going on. But that turned into a real romance once Channing Tatum figured out that pre-crazy Amanda Bynes was a hot lady instead of a weirdly hot dude. Shakespeare made loving other dudes cool again. And for that we thank him.
Fast-forward to the 1960s, when TV started to get really cool. TV became the medium for the presentation of some of the most notorious and well-loved bros of all time. In 1966, the world was introduced to the first inter-planetary bromance: the one between Capt. James Tiberius Kirk and Spock. These two bros traveled the galaxies, initiating civil rights movements on fake planets and also Earth. Bros on a mission.
Soon after, the bromance returned to Earth with The Odd Couple. Felix and Oscar have received many incarnations on the stage and the small and big screens. These besties are different from every other pair in this article because they, as bros, are noticeably different, lending proof to the fact that even in straight dude romances, opposites totally attract. Felix is obsessive-compulsive and super anal, while Oscar is sloppy and lackadaisical. Naturally, things start off rather shaky for the two, but they eventually get their acts together to realize that their yin/yang dynamic is what makes them such good friends.
Now we’re in the 21st Century. After a short hiatus with very few nearly-romantic male entanglements (I see you, Shaun and Corey from Boy Meets World, but this is my article, and I don’t feel like talking about you), bromances are not only appearing again, but are becoming a sit-com cornerstone. It all began for generation Y in the early 2000s with The O.C., a show about a poor kid who moves in with a rich kid but isn’t instantly disgusted with the stupid problems with which his new rich family surrounds themselves. Ryan, a punk from Chino (yuk, apparently) moves in with the Cohens in The Orange County. Ryan, despite having a brother in jail and a drunk for a mother, immediately forgets all about his very real problems and begins to worry about getting the painfully thin blond next door to like him. Despite the oft-ridiculous melodrama of the show, Ryan and Seth make up one of the most meaningful bromances in the history of television, offering constant support and unconditional love for one another. Seth even runs away from his (beautiful) home when Ryan skips back off to Chino (ew), realizing that his town has turned to shit without his brother. That’s love.
Around the same time, Americans were graced with the presence of Doctors JD and Turk in the classic sit-com Scrubs. These two lovebirds redefined what it meant to have a bromance (see: “Guy Love” from that musical episode). Obviously.
I would be remiss if I didn’t talk about the most important bromance of our generation: that of Troy and Abed on Community. After an Odd Couple-esque start (“I’m gonna give my homework to Slumdog Millionaire over here,” Troy, Ep. 101), The Disco Spider and Brown Danny have grown to share the most powerful heterosexual male love in the history of television, and if you disagree with me I will absolutely be willing to come down to your level, knuckle-dragger, and show you with the back of my hand exactly why you are wrong.
To conclude, I think that what these numerous sources (in addition to the ones I didn’t mention) show us is that we should all be grateful for those bromances we have in real life. Because someday, as is the case with all of these shows, our bromances might get cancelled. Because real life is just like TV, right? No? Okay. Well in any event, go give your best bro a hug and tell him that no matter what, you’ll always be JD and Turk, or Ryan and Seth, or Felix and Oscar, or whatever set of bros you compare yourselves to.
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